Wonderland
by Sweet Torment
Summary: [AU/AH] "Well, dear Elena this is not Wonderland and you are not Alice." When an elite student from the Upper East Side gets caught in the deadly claws of a dangerous addiction and lands in the dark world of crime and no mercy, will her personal angel of death be the one to actually save her? Or is he too busy saving his own life to care about her broken soul? [Warnings inside.]
1. Numb

**A/N: So, I am almost through with my story 'Revenge', which got longer than I expected, but which also went better than I expected. And I was inspired to write this, by what exactly, I don't know, but I thought this would maybe turn out to be cool, so let's get it out here. **

**I know this first chapter is not the longest, but that's just how I write. I'm not good at writing 5k words every chapter. That's just not me, so it's a bit smaller here. But there will probably be bigger ones too ;) **

**Now I am once agian going into darker stuff, so here are the warnings, as promised: **

**WARNINGS: Dark- adult themes, such as violence, sexual content, drug and alcohol abuse and the description of the use of drugs, might contain rape.**

**This is nothing for kiddies. **

**Now, I am not a chemical specialist nor do I know oh so much about drugs, I just did a little digging on the internet, but I cannot promise that what I write is 100% right when it comes to the usage and symptoms of those drugs that are mentioned. **

**That is all, I hope you enjoy and please give me some feedback, just what you think! **

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_August, 2001_

Beautiful, soft, tender. Almost like freshly fallen snow. But snow was pure, innocent and something coming from heaven. But the powder that was shaped into a perfect, thin, white line on the skin of Elena's bare chest right now was anything, but pure and innocent. And if you took it, heaven was not were you would end up. That was for sure.

But heaven was not what Elena Gilbert, daughter of the famous Dr. Gracen Gilbert was aiming for. Selling your soul to the devil would not lead you to heaven, she knew that , but she didn't care enough to let it matter. She had lost the ability to care. It had been replaced by numbness and the ability to forget. A long time ago.

When you were laying in the bed of an alcoholic rich boy, who was about to snort cocaine form your nude body, the ability to care was like poison and numbness was the only way to survive.

When sloppy kisses were planted upon your cold skin by a mouth you despised, you didn't want to care. You just wanted to forget.

When all your body longed for was a liquid that damaged and killed, and not the thick cock in the boxers of the man that was in bed with you, you didn't want to enjoy or feel, you just wanted it to be over so you could get your rush.

But heaven would not open its doors for numb heroin addicts, who sold their soul and gave away their body.

The slight pain that pierced through Elena's shoulder when blunt teeth hit her collarbone ripped her out of her deep thoughts, bringing her back to Tyler, who was just about to take the white line of cocaine from her chest. He had bitten her, harsh enough to even leave a mark, and he now lifted his head to glance at Elena. "Baby, when I pay for something, I don't want it limb in my bed." He told her in a rather rough tone.

If his parents would be home right now, and saw him butt-naked in his bed, with a just so naked girl who had a line of cocaine on her chest, they would freak, his father would beat his ass up and he would loose all his money. But they were always away and too busy for their own child.

Like so many parents here on the New Yorker Upper East Side.

Elena's perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed a little on her forehead, before her expression softened and a small smile that she didn't mean formed on her plush, cherry flavored lips. "Well, I'm waiting for you to get over with this.." She motioned down on to the drugs, batting her thick raven lashes at him as she jutted her chest out towards him, arching her back into a perfect curve off his mattress.

"That's more like it." A deep chuckle left Tyler's lips and he pressed his wet mouth down into the valley of her breasts to place more wet kisses that annoyed Elena before his nose nudged her upper chest and she felt the light blow of him while he was sucking the powder into one of his nostrils.

Until nothing was left and he was harder than ever against her thigh.

Elena swallowed the ill feeling in the pit of her stomach. It would just be in the way. And Tyler was now horny like an old dog and already rubbing himself against her, which just made the whole situation more disgusting than it already was. So she slipped a hand down to free him from his boxers, hooked a leg around his strong waist and guided him inside of her with a light wincing motion.

To her luck, alcohol and drugs had decreased his stamina over the last years and he was now a wreck in bed who just got it up to get off inside of girls. So it would be over quickly.

All she had to do was tilt her head away and listen to him pant into her ear until that familiar groan sounded and he was done humping her.

The round went on a little longer than Elena had expected this time, but that was probably just the cocaine. He even occasionally managed to grab her breast and palm the tender flesh, but after that it was pretty much over, he was spent and fell asleep and she could shower and leave to get her fix at almost 3am.

There was not much around Tyler's building where she could hide to inject the stuff she had 'stolen' – well, he had promised her a pill, what does it matter that she took two? He was knocked out anyway – from Tyler, so she had to walk a bit until she reached the next bus station near a dark alley.

Now it was just a matter of time, she tugged her spoon and lemon juice out and laid them out on the bench of the bus station, placing a lighter next to them before she dived her thin hand back into her pocket to fish for the little plastic bag that contained the two heroin pills.

She'd cook them up and inject them right into her veins. That was the plan, because it brought the quickest rush and she was too tired to wait for the effects. Her body was already exhausted enough, trembling with desire for the white substance.

Her slender fingers finally got a grasp of the plastic bag and she held it up into one of the street lights to glance at the two pills in the light. "Hey babies.." She murmured softly, a sick smile gracing her face as she lowered the bag to the bench as well and squeezed some lemon juice onto the spoon. Next would be crushing the pills.

So she looked around herself, her eyes catching the glimpse of a stone that she immediately grasped and lifted to turn the pretty white pills into powder. Once she was done, she poured half of the white stuff onto the spoon as well, watched it mix with the lemon juice for a moment and took a calming breath before she lifted her shivering hand to take a tight grip around the handle of the spoon. Careful not to spill any of the liquid.

Her other hand clenched around the lighter, her thumb hovering above the little roll thing that would turn it on. She rolled the pad of her finger across it and sparks flew, but the flame kept her waiting. So she tried it again, pushing her thumb down on the lighter, but again, nothing but sparks.

The hand that was holding the spoon trembled in nervousness and she had to inhale sharply to once again calm her nervous mind. But again, she rolled her thumb along the lighter and nothing but sparks showed up.

Anger was settling in her body, erupting faster than she could react, she shook the lighter furiously, trying to get the gas to work and totally forgetting about the spoon in her other hand. Her cold, weak fingers uncurled and the spoon, plus the liquid dropped to the ground, creating a small wet spot.

Elena almost cried out in shock, desperately grasping the handle of the spoon she jerked it back up into the air to see what could be saved, but it was nothing more than a thin layer of the liquid that was covering the spoon. It was useless and she had just wasted a whole fix to the street.

Sadness and misery took over her and she perched down in front of the bench, steadying herself against it as she rested her trembling body on the cold night ground to silently sob into the sleeve of her jacket. She honestly hated those mood swings and she needed a fix now, but without a working lighter, she was blown up and the only solution would be to sniff the rest and call Damon.

Damon always had more.

Her fingers reached for the little plastic bag again and she quickly heaved herself onto her feet against the bench before leaning over it to spread the rest of the white powder, which she had so imperfectly crushed with the stone onto the backrest of the bench, before she lowered her head, pressed one of the sides of her nose close and inhaled deeply along the line she had just created until all of it had been absorbed by her nose.

She sighed deeply, leaning her head back for a moment. This was good. This was save. This was paradise.

The next thing she did was fish out her phone and press the speed-dial number one. The name "Damon" flashed across the screen and she held it to her ear to hear the all too familiar beeping sound that indicated that she was calling someone.

"You better be paying me for listening to you at 3am.." A throaty voice answered a moment later. And Elena could hear the faint sound of traffic in the background, which told her that Damon had not even gone to bed and was just exaggerating again.

"Believe me, I'm worth your time." She replied with a chuckle. "Come and pick me up, at Tyler's, will you?"

"The rich idiot boy?" The voice asked back after a moment of hesitation.

Elena leaned back against the bench, slowly feeling her blood begin to pound through her veins. She almost moaned her answer into the phone. "That one exactly."

A scowl was heard from the other line and he said, "Stay were you are." Before hanging up on Elena, who's arm went almost limb, or at least it felt like that and so she simply dropped her phone to the hard stone ground, not even caring about the loud noise when it hits the ground.

Damon was the number one dealer in her circles. He worked for someone big and especially Elena knew that she could rely on him and the stuff he sold, but he was not just her dealer, he was also some kind of savior that had gotten her out of the craziest shit already and knew her fucked up sides better than anyone.

Sometimes, she wondered why he even stuck around.

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**A/N: So that is it, I hope you enjoyed it and if you got any questions, feel free to ask them in the reviews. Other than that, I'd love to see some reviews on this, because you know, nothing makes a writer happier. And they are good reminders to forget lie for a second and write the next update xD **


	2. Asleep

**A/N: So I'm finally back and I'm sorry that it took me this long, so now here we go with a little Damon and Elena and a deeper look into their lives and relationship. I hope you enjoy this update as much as I enjoyed writing it and I apologize for any spelling mistakes and stuff like that, I'm too lazy to check and don't have a beta xD **

**And by the way, thanks for all your awesome reviews, I really love you guys for it! Much love. **

**Now have fun and don't forget to review! **

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A few minutes after she had called him, the sound of a car door being slammed shut ripped her out of her half-asleep state and her eyes shot open to see who was there. It was Damon, he had finally come to pick her up by the bus station.

Elena was mostly knocked out by the little heroin that she had consumed before she had called him, so she could barely get her eyes open to look at him the only think she could make out through the fuzziness in her brain, was his smirk and how he suddenly disappeared from her sight to walk around her. The next thing she knew, she was being pulled up to her feet and a heavy leather jacket was draped over her shoulders before she found herself on the passenger seat of a car.

She was so tired and weak and blown away by the stuff she had stolen from Tyler, that she simply sunk back into her seat and dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

Damon, though, who sat next to her, couldn't help but chuckle at how down she actually was. He guessed it had been another rough night with that prick Tyler, he didn't really know him, but he knew that he was one great son of a bitch and that he threw the biggest parties in the society of spoiled kids from the Upper East Side.

He remembered the first time that he had met or better said, not met Tyler. It had been some 'school starts soon' party that Elena and her friends were throwing for the entire fucking school, and everyone was at Tyler's way too big house. And where was Tyler while everyone was downstairs partying? He was upstairs fucking Elena in the shower, high on cocaine and too much Red Bull.

It wouldn't have troubled Damon if it had just been any girl, but it was Elena and she knew that he would have sold her the shit she wanted cheaper, but she hadn't been able to wait until he was there and so she had wandered up with Tyler, drunk as a skunk to let him fuck her brains out.

He just didn't like what he had heard about this boy and his attitude hadn't exactly been the most appropriate either. Not like boys like him could decide what was appropriate anyway.

Sometimes Damon just wished he could do something against people like Tyler, but then again, most of his customers were guys like that and girls that did about anything for a little big of white powder, a few pills or a little plastic bag that led them to paradise.

Elena's head tipped aside and fell onto Damon's shoulder, her numb hands reaching out for him to nuzzle herself closer to his warm body.

And Damon couldn't help it but shot her a long glance, his eyebrows furrowing softly in worry. She was a mess, a fucking mess. And not for the first time this week. He wondered when she had last been to school and when was the last time that she had actually been sober? Or what at least, not totally high and off the cliff. It had probably been hours over hours ago.

He didn't dare to speculate.

Girls like Elena were dangerous, he knew that. And still he couldn't help it. He was just completely infatuated with this disaster of a person. She was trouble and nothing but trouble, and he would still follow her down into hell and help her cross the bridges to meet the devil.

If she jumped, he would too.

And she knew that, but they still never talked about it. She kept her mouth shut and he pretended like they were nothing more than dealer and addict. Because what would they be?

He couldn't afford her. And not just when it came to money or drugs. He couldn't afford the emotional misery that she brought along, she was a hurricane, ready to destroy anyone that got to close. She meant horror. And he couldn't afford to be pulled into her person version of hell, because he didn't have a rich daddy that would get him out of any trouble that he'd get in.

He was all by himself and couldn't keep his eyes open for another sad soul. No matter how special and lost Elena was.

He wasn't even sure if she would be worth saving. Because honestly, no one really new Elena Gilbert. They knew what the people talked about her, they knew where she partied and who she spend her time with, but when you really looked at her, you actually realized that you didn't know her at all and her eyes told you that you never would, either.

Like right now, she was knocked out on drugs and cuddled up against Damon's side, the only thing lightening her tired face up were the streetlights that they passed as they drove by building after building. Shadows crowded around her eyes, but the rest looked perfect from outside. She was flawless – a total doll that had just had a rough day.

Or at least that was what she looked like. While a storm was ragging on inside of her, her troubled soul never really resting.

But while she was asleep against his side, she looked peaceful and innocent.

And once they had gotten to Damon's home, he got out of his car, slipped the key to his place around his middle finger and closed the car door quiet enough not to wake her up. He really didn't want to wake her, so he carefully opened her door, picked her up into his strong arms, which wasn't really the hardest act ever, with her barely 100 pounds, before he carried her up the stairs through the slim and dark stair case and up into his also dark apartment. It wasn't really big, but it was more than most people in New York could afford without a real job.

Because believe it or not, drug dealer was not considered a real job.

A few minutes later, Damon had sneaked his way through the small place and lowered Elena successfully onto the bed without waking her up, he stroked a few strands of hair out of her face and caressed her jawline up and down with his thumb, undoing her jacket button for button as he started to hush quietly. "Elena?"

"Hey.." He whispered when her eyes slowly fluttered open. At first she didn't really look at him, it was more like she was staring through and invisible him until her chocolate hues fixed on his handsome features and her eyes widened slightly, a deep moan in displeasure spilling from her lips.

"C'mon.." Damon pressed a hand into her back and helped her sit up. "Or do you want to sleep in your clothes?" He hushed through the darkness with a quiet chuckle.

"No." She murmured back at him, slowly and weakly slipping her tired limbs out of her clothes until she was wearing nothing more than her cheekies and a top. Her wasted body fell back onto Damon's mattress and he gave her a last laugh at how cutely she cuddled herself up into her blanket before he went for the couch, glad that she was knocked out like that and would not cause any trouble.

But he also knew that it was Sunday night and that she actually had school tomorrow, and silently, he wondered if she'd go or skip the whole day as usual.

A drawn out yawn stretched his lips apart as he fell onto his couch, not bothering to rid himself of his jeans or shirt, he just cradled his only pillow in his arms, rested his head and let his eyes fall shut as well. It was the middle of the night, almost morning to be exact and he could really need the fucking rest.

His tired eyes wandered around the dimly lit room, his eyes stopping and landing on Elena's tight behind that was sticking into the air because she was sleeping on her stomach. A sigh passed his lips and he let his eye lids fall shut, hoping to get some much needed sleep now.

And it didn't take long for him to doze off, indeed.

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The following morning wasn't as quiet and gentle, though.

Something small and soft tip-toed its way up Damon's thigh, delicate and ticklish. It first didn't trouble his sleep at all, but it soon started to become annoying, and when something tugged on his belt, Damon couldn't help but awoke, his eyes uncoordinated and his vision blurry at first.

But his cloudy eyes were soon with two big brown Bambi eyes. It had been Elena who had woken him up. He groaned, slapped her hand away from his belt and tried to turn his body and hide back into the pillow, but Elena was quicker and threw her leg around his waist, seating herself on top of him, straddling his hips with a cheeky smile. "Damon." She purred.

It was barely 7am and Elena was dressed in her clothes form yesterday again, her hair fixed up into a messy bun and her eyes underlined with perfect make up. If there was one thing she was good at, it was being pretty.

He didn't want to listen though and hid his still tired eyes behind his palms. "No..."

"C'mon, where's your snow?" She leaned down to him, smiling as she asked him.

And his eyes shot open, brows furrowed as he glanced at her a little angry. "You woke me up to get a fix? Oh god.." He groaned, his hands coming forward in a swift movement as he grasped her ass to deliver a harsh smack to her round backside and hoisted her up to push her off of him, making her land on her back on the ground with a soft thud. "Under the microwave.." He growled and turned back around to continue sleeping.

"Thank you." She smiled satisfied and jumped up to hop over into Damon's small kitchen, a silver microwave was one of the only things in this room that actually indicated that it was a kitchen, a mini-fridge, a microwave and a few counters that were mostly covered in old clothes and empty food bowls and cans was everything you found in this room.

But Elena was used to it, she had often been at Damon's place. And with a little shove, the microwave was gone and Elena discovered the little bags that were filled with the essence of wonderland, a smile curled up onto her lips and she slipped one of the bags off the counter and into her hand. "Perfect.."

"Why are you even up?" Sounded an exhausted groan from the couch and a moment later, Damon stumbled in, now no longer wearing a shirt. His jeans hung loosely around his hips so low that his beck-bones were perfectly visible, a cigaret hanging from his lips and smoke passing his lips in slow and rhythmic intervals.

Elena laughed a melodious laugh, waving a hand at him as she prepared the heroin for injection. A spoon should be enough for school, she promised herself, but she also slipped the rest of the powder into her pocket, just in case she needed a little rush later on.

"School." She explained to him, as she squeezed the lemon juice onto her spoon, crushed the heroin powder just a little more and poured it onto the spoon before heating everything up with a lighter that had been laying on Damon's nightstand and that she decided was worth keeping.

Damon's face scrunched up at the word and he took an extra long drag from his cigaret, which caused a simper from Elena as she filled the syringe with the drug liquid that would soon calm her nervous mind again. "Would you mind borrowing me that?" Elena asked sweetly, motioning for Damon's belt with her chin as she toyed with the full syringe between her slender digits.

It took no time for Damon to slip the belt of and for Elena to tug it tightly around her arm to stop the blood flow for a moment, her teeth holding it shut tightly as she tapped her arm lightly to bring the pulsating vein that she needed to hit forth. You could really see how trained she was in this because she then simply jabbed the injection into her skin, pressing the milky liquid into her blood flow with a quiet moan through the leather belt that was still pinned between her teeth.

The drugs quickly hitting her system and having her high by the time that she pecked Damon's cheek and left his place a little tipsy on her feet.

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**A/N: What are you saying? Is Damon too soft? hahah, I hope not. Tell me what you think. **


	3. Thief

**A/N: Just a little filler chapter, and keep up the reviews, lovelies, I really love them. And I promise next chapter will be amazing, we'll dip a little into Damon**  
**s world. Now read and enjoy. **

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The fasted way to get to school in New York City, was by bus or even better, Taxi. And if you handed the driver a few bills more he'd even skip the red lights, and even though Elena did all those things, she still arrived too late for class and slipped quietly into her seat.

Elena attended a private school, full of people like her with rich parents, and also right next to her her best friend Caroline Forbes, daughter of a plastic surgeon. She was shaking her head at Elena with a small cheeky smile on her lips. Her father made more money than he could count, just like everyone's parents here, but he handed it out to Caroline like chocolate. The girl could buy a whole Hotel and he wouldn't notice. And in the world that they were living in, money was everything.

So of course Caroline was one of the top elite girls in their friend circle. She could have easily been the new Paris Hilton. And it was sort of ironic that she was the one shaking her head because Elena had come in late, because she was usually the queen of being late and hungover in class.

It didn't take long till a small folded note landed on Elena's desk, she had been lost admiring their Math teacher, who had just been hired by the school when the piece of paper hit her desk. She blinked in shock and unfolded it quietly to read what was written inside.

"_Heard of you and Tyler, the bastard's bragging all over school again." _Read the note and Elena hiked an eyebrow at the words, her lips pursing some as she grabbed her pen and scribbled an answer. _"Let him, he was so knocked out after just one round."_ She quickly wrote back and added,

"_And I know that he's throwing a party tomorrow evening with some more stuff, and you know how good his is." _She carefully tossed the paper back on Caroline's desk and waited for her reply.

A quiet giggle sounded from Caroline's table again and she nodded over to her friend. It was a sealed deal, they'd be at Tyler's tomorrow night.

And Elena didn't even give a single fuck weather he was bad mouthing her as a slut or not with his friends, she simply didn't care. And knew enough things about him that could ruin this boy just as quickly.

Just the thought of him made her shiver a little, his dope was best, but he was a disgusting little perv, who couldn't get enough and would never take no for an answer. Elena would get rid of him with a snap of her fingers if she could, she'd push him off a cliff without blinking and if he stood on fire and she had water, she'd drink it. But it didn't work like that, the world wasn't that fair and so she'd have to live with him as a 'friend'.

Tyler fucking Lockwood, she gulped in disgust, forgetting all about what Mr. Daniels was saying in front of the class, forgetting all about numbers and logarithms and plus and minus, when suddenly her veins began to crawl with thirst again, her vision becoming cloudy as she rubbed her eyes, trying desperately to concentrate on what was going on, but It didn't help, her body was aching for another short or just a little line, just something to make the warmth and cold and horror in her mind go away.

She really hated when this happened, those little holes she fell into in the middle of the day after she had just gotten her fix. Just like now, the last shot had been maybe 40 minutes ago at Damon's and yet she longed for more again, warmth and coldness flooding her body in need and desperation. But she knew it wasn't real and that she'd just had to sit it out.

Easier said than done, though when you're in the middle of class, a room full of people, a room with a hot teacher who could notice you any second and drag you out of your hole by calling an ambulance, or worse, your parents.

Yeah, Elena really needed to get her priorities sorted, but there was no time for this when she was in a state like that. Dark dots clouded her eyes, trying to drag her down onto the floor, like always, but she grasped the edge of her table until her knuckles turned a lighter shade and the dots vanished again, letting her see the light of the world and her teacher who was still talking away about Math.

Her glance wandered over to Caroline, who hadn't even noticed as well, but was just typing some text on her phone under her table.

A quiet sigh passed Elena's lips and she noticed the pain in the tips of her fingers and let go of the desk's edge to relax her hands a little. A look at the clock, and Elena knew that she had wasted the whole class in zombie-land and that it was just about to ring.

5 Minutes later she was standing in the hall, by her locker which was next to Caroline's and chipped away with the bubbly blonde. "It's quiet the surprise that Tyler remembers that night at all. He was done faster than a damn dog." Elena groaned quietly.

Which caused Caroline to simper in amusement. "I don't get why you let him do this with you over and over again, you know he's a wreck in bed when he's out, which he's almost always." She said, her brows jumping a little in judgment. "And you have the money to buy from your own dealer. That black haired bad boy of yours, Damon." She practically purred, her eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

But Elena waved her off, her mouth opening to answer Caroline when a broad shadow covered hers against the lockers and an all too familiar voice interrupted their conversation. "Gotta talk to you." Tyler murmured in a sharp hush. "Now."

And Elena couldn't help but roll her eyes before she turned to face him with an annoyed expression. "Later." She just replied and tried to shove past him, but Tyler wasn't one to give up like that and a moment later his hand had hit the lockers and Elena's way out was cut off. "Now." He repeated in a dull tone.

"Well," Caroline started slowly, her own voice low. "I have to get to this thing.." She carefully backed away. "At this place..." She continued and stepped further away, ever so slowly until Tyler shot her a glare and she turned fully around to get away, quick on her feet.

Elena raised an unimpressed brow at him and leaned back against her closed locker, her arms folded across her chest as she pressed her books together in her arms. "Was that really necessary?" She asked lazily, waiting for Tyler, who was still staring after Caroline to return her gaze. She was one of the few here who didn't respect or fear Tyler in school and one of the reasons for that, was his fucking alcoholism.

He was stinking like Bacardi all over again and even though alcohol made people unpredictable, it also made them stupid and weak. So even if Tyler was like 80 pounds more of her, she didn't have to fear anything from him, especially here in school.

But all of the teachers in the world wouldn't have stopped him from still being a rough, barbaric bastard. So he grabbed her arm and had her inside of the man's toilet within seconds, causing a loud gasp to spill from Elena's lips. Her brows furrowed at how harsh his fingers had dug into her upper arm. "You little bitch stole from me!" He hushed, his eyes scanning the closed toilets for people. But no one was there.

"You didn't let me cum." Elena snapped back, her eyes narrowed angrily. She could play tough too. Her argument was completely out of the blue and she actually didn't mind that she hadn't gotten her high whens he had slept with him, but she needed something to justify the whole thief thing.

His mouth was pressed into a thin line. No boy liked it when you spat out their awful abilities in bed, but Tyler was one to get his ego hurt extra quick. He was proud like a dog. "You'll pay me back for that." He answered, not even picking up on what she had said, his voice hard and cold. "And I don't care how." He added, more quiet while his eyes roamed the exposed skin of her chest.

Elena tried hard to hide it, but her cheeks flushed in anger. He treated her like an object, like a fuck toy to be used when ever he pleased and she didn't like it. So her hand slipped and landed hard across his cheek, sending his head to one side.

The sound of her swallowing was the only thing in the dimply lit man's room, until a quiet chuckle echoed off the walls and Tyler turned his hand back to glance at Elena. "You'll regret this, whore." He said and turned around to leave, so she was all alone in the room.

It had been a miracle that no one had walked in on them so far, but Elena guessed the classes had already started again, so she took the opportunity to snort a little line from the plastic bag she had slipped into her pocket this morning when she had been at Damon's place.

He just had her so angry. She needed the relaxing feeling that it would bring. So she dived her hand into her pocket and tugged the little bag out before she pushed some of the white powder onto the edge of the sink and formed a little white line with it.

She glanced at her handiwork, quiet placed with how it turned out. How perfect the snow-like material was laying there and calling her name, drawing her in, making her desire it more and more every time she used it. She knew it was wrong, especially that she was using it already again when she had just gotten a fix this morning. But she found it harder and harder to resist by the minute and so she promised herself that it would be the last fix today and that she'd go home and rest.

The last fix, at only about 10pm. It was an impossible task to master and she knew that, but this was the last bit that she had and if she didn't leave the house again to get more, she'd be able to make it through the day.

So she bent down at the waist, pressed her index to her nose and inhaled the white powder through the open nostril. A moan escaping her lips as she straightened back up and steadied herself against the sink to let the drugs flow.

Once Elena was home, she crawled into her bed and hid there for hopefully the rest of the day, but only about two hours later, she couldn't bare it anymore and made her way out onto her balcony to look across the skyline of New York and smoke a cigaret.

There was always a package Lucky Strike laying around somewhere in her room and once she'd found it under a pile of clothes that she'd bought but never worn, she took the lighter and lit it before pulling a long drag from it into her lungs.

Maybe this would calm her down, she thought to herself as she took another drag, rolling the cigaret in between her fingers as she mindlessly stared out into the scenery of skyscrapers and streetlights.

If she wanted to kill herself, she easily could from where she was standing. And oh how often she had thought of it. She didn't want to die, but playing with the thought brought her great pleasure and calmed her nerves. Just to know that she had the power over her own life, the power over at least this after she had lost control about everything else in her life, it was reassuring.

Alone the word 'suicide' had this really nice ring to it in her ears. But she'd never leave Caroline and she'd never go before she hadn't at least been through a hell lot of more trouble than now.

It took two more cigs for Elena to notice that this would not help or change anything about the cravings she was having again and so she dialed Damon's number on her phone. But not to buy.

"You again." His rough voice answered after only a few beeps and Elena sighed with relief.

A small smile even curled up on her lips. "Distract me." Were the only words she saidand Damon knew exactly what was up with her.

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**AN/: So, what do you guys think? **


	4. Soothe Me

**A/N: So I'm finally back and this time we'll start to explore Damon's world a little. And by the way, congrats to Germany, my country, which one the World Cup, I'm proud as fucking fuck. And I have been awake for 38 hours now, so please don't freak out about any spelling mistakes. This actually took me quiet a while to write this because I am just so tired and still have school. Haha. I know, it's crazy. But I'm through with exams now and I promise the updates will roll in more often now. Heh. **

**And thank you guys for all the support and reviews, you are the best. Reviews and your love keep me going! **

**Now read and enjoy. **

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Only about twenty minutes after Elena had called Damon and told him to come and get her, she was seated snugly into the seat of his car, her black heels resting against the inside of his car while she nervously toyed with the volume of his radio, turning the little button up and down and back and forth until she caught Damon glaring at her from the side and flashed him an apologetic smile, rolling her shoulders in a shrug.

"Jesus, you're really down, huh?" He asked her as he cast a glance at her trembling hands in her lap, her skin was wet from sweating and she felt like she was on fire. But every time when she took her leather jacket off, she felt like someone had dumped a bucket with ice water over her head and so she left the clothes on.

Elena send Damon a little smile, laughing a little. "Pretty much." She glanced down, a little ashamed about her non-existent self control.

Because no matter who you are, when you start with this stuff, with the drugs, you always tell yourself that_ this will be the only time_ and that you are just _trying_ it. And then you end up in a dark alleyway, snorting cocaine or heroin through a rolled up dollar bill that had probably been touched by millions of dirty Americans and had seen the inside of at least two hundred strippers.

So yes, Elena was overcome by a tiny bit of shame and the only thing she felt when it crept into her brain, was the need to make this feeling go away again, the best would be if she could shoot it away with another fix, straight into her veins. But no, she couldn't. She had told herself to stay strong, just today.

"Do you have a blunt?" Elena's voice broke the awkward silence that had filled the car. They had been driving for a while and she had really started to wonder where the hell they were going, because Damon had taken enough shortcuts and forbidden roads to get her already upset mind confused. She had no idea where exactly they were now, but she guessed it wasn't Manhattan anymore.

"Yeah, the little box under the seat." Damon nudged his chin into the direction of Elena's seat before he returned his eyes back onto the road.

Her hands wasted no time and she bend down to reach for it. Maybe a little weed would calm her nerves.

And yes, her fingers found a little, cold metal box, which she pulled into her lap and when she opened it, she discovered a little row of perfectly rolled joints. _Heaven. _

If there was one thing Elena loved, it was Damon's weed. She glanced at them for a moment, chose the fattest of them and lifted it to her lips before she stuck her hand into the pocket of her leather jacket and tugged a twenty dollar bill free. She placed the money in the box, her hand dived back into her pocket and one moment later, she lit the blunt with her lighter, taking the first drag with a small smile on her lips.

Once she was halfway through the joint, she picked the dollar bill for the weed back up and hooked a slender index into the waistband of Damon's jeans, who was slightly distracted from driving by her touch and frowned down to see what she was doing. Then he laughed as he watched her stuff the money into the waistband of his jeans. "Do I look like a stripper to you?" He asked her, his eyebrows jumping skywards as his eyes traveled back to the road and he hit the brakes slowly, a red flash light shining in front of them.

His care came to a stop behind another as Elena shrugged her shoulders softly and send him a cocky smirk as she took the last drag from the blunt. "No, if you were a stripper, I'd pay you in singles." She told him with a coy laugh and rolled her window down to flick the rest of the joint away.

And indeed, the weed and Damon had gotten her calm. At least a little. Calm enough for her to sink back into the seat and watch the road and cars in front of them while Damon continued driving. "Where are we even going?" She asked him quietly, her eyes heavy from the drugs as she twisted a strand of her brown hair around her middle finger.

"Just wait another five minutes and we'll be there." He told her honestly, pulling the steering wheel to the side and turning into a small alley that led to a backstreet filled with shady people.

Elena peaked a little up in her seat to see who was standing there. But all she saw were a lot of black people, a lot of leather jackets, tuned up cars and the lights and smoke from cigarets. It wasn't like Manhattan at all, she thought to herself when she watched the people who were casting their glances at Damon's car, which was slowly rolling through the people and came to a halt in front of a bare brick wall, which had graffiti smeared all over it.

Elena swallowed softly, her eyes scanning her surroundings. She trusted Damon with her life, but the people here looked dangerous. "So.. what is this place?"

"This is the place where all the junkies go." Damon explained with a laugh and kicked his door open to get out. Only to open Elena's door a moment later and lead her outside of the car. "You wanted to be distracted.." He added with a smugly chuckle and slipped his arm around her slim waist to tug her closer to his side.

Elena was clearly skeptical. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows were puckered worriedly on her forehead and she had her eyes narrowed at Damon as he led her closer towards the buzzing and vibrating basses of music. "You sure I should be here?" She asked him, her look completely one of disbelief.

But Damon just nodded and led her inside, hushing into her ear. "Just stay close to me."

Then they were inside, darkness swallowed them whole and the only things that spend some light to see was the blue, red and green colored light that gave the place a club atmosphere. Elena was suddenly surrounded by a bunch of people who were dropping and grinding against her to the heavy hip hop music that was buzzing in her ears, sending vibrations through her whole body. Her hand quickly grasped for Damon's arm for support and he tightened his arm around her as he led her through the bunch of dancing people.

The smell of weed and other things heavy in the thick air. Elena almost had to cough in an poor attempt of breathing.

But suddenly the smoke and people cleared and she could open her eyes properly, just to discover that she was staring right into a broad chest and the guy who that solid chest belonged to, was almost like a closet in front of her. And there wasn't just one, there were four. And they were blocking the stairs that led up into the upper story of the club.

Elena blinked at the heavy, meaty guy with skinhead in front of her as he scanned her from head to toe. His eyes then fell onto Damon and he moved aside without another word and to Elena's great relief.

Damon just chuckled smugly as he guided her through the beefy guys that were protecting the stairs and up, step after step. Elena couldn't focus on anything, nothing seemed familiar or calming, except for Damon's arm, which was still wrapped tightly around her body. Her gaze wandered from the glass railing of the stairs over to the couches that stood atop the story they were walking towards right now before she glanced across the dance floor from above, only now seeing some people who were clearly high and totally out of it. They looked worn down and tired and mostly just like they had been on that dance floor forever.

That was probably what Damon had meant when he had said that this is the place were all the junkies go. Because these kind of people partied here.

But once they had finished walking up the stairs, Elena had to discover that the people up here on the white couches were not some poor junkies that constantly longed for more of the dirty, cheap stuff in their blood system. They looked like wealthy business man, a blonde on each arm and some of the finest white powder in all New York on the glass table in front of them.

These people up here looked like they came form Elena's world, but they talked and acted like Damon.

"There is mah boy!" Yelled a black one, he was quiet chubby as well, in a white suit who was sitting on one of the couches a few feet away. Two girls were sitting with him, one blonde, the other black haired, both of them had glassy eyes and Elena could still make out where the little white line of cocaine had laid.

But Damon's hand met the black guys a moment later and Elena's eyes were drawn away from the table with the plastic bag and the drugs. "Hey, man." Damon said, his voice low and dripping with a kind of respect that came from friendship, not fear.

It didn't take Elena long to realize that these two were friends. And by the time she had gripped the thought tightly, Damon had already tugged her to his side to introduce her. "Elena, Larma. Larma, Elena." He said, his trademark smirk playing on his lips as Elena shook the hand of the big guy, a small but rather shy smile playing on her own lips.

"She's gorgeous, Damon!" The man shrieked and laughed at his friend, resting his broad palm onto Damon's shoulder to squeeze it proudly. "Quiet the catch you landed here." He added quickly before he leaned over, closer to Damon to hush something into Damon's ear.

And then Damon turned over to Elena. "Give me a minute, I have some business to discuss." He explained, an apologetic smile flashing across his handsome face. But Elena just laughed and nodded. "Go ahead." She told him.

Elena was left with the two high girls that were still sitting on the white couch, they barely moved or smiled and so she just guessed that they were having quiet the nice trip and that she better not interrupted them now. But then a low whistle came from one of the couches a few steps away.

And it was directed at her. She had to admit that she probably looked pretty perky in those heels and her clothes, but she hadn't really expected that.

"Oh, my momma!" A dark voice sounded from the next couch and when Elena rolled her bambi eyes and turned to see who was ogling her, she was glancing at a bunch of Mexicans who looked like they were anything but her age. "What a sweet lil' thing." Another added as their eyes shamelessly roamed Elena's body.

Damon was just a few feet away, but he was looking so concentrated and serious that she decided to not rip him away just because of this little idiot. Even though they were making her pretty nervous.

One of the blondes had leaned back in her seat and was glancing straight through Elena, all starry eyed.

"C'mon chicka, don't you wanna hop over here?" The Mexican yelled and his friends cheered and grinned in her direction, but Elena stayed unimpressed and faced in the opposite directing.

She just wanted this moment to be over already. It felt disgusting how these sweaty man from Queens or the Bronze were ogling her and watching with their dirty grins.

"Hey, lady. I'm talking to ya'." Added the guy who seemed to be the boss of those few that sat on the table. It was a skinny man, with jutting cheekbones and dirty teeth, and even if he didn't look like he could muster much strength, Elena was still afraid of him, at least a little. And she had all the reasons for it, because her hands were sweating and trembling once again, the weed was vanishing into her system, swallowed up by her metabolism.

She was getting weaker again.

"I said, I'm talking to you, bitch." The voice of the disgusting guy was suddenly much louder and it snapped Elena out of her thoughts about how she needed to get another blunt or even a fix, and when she swirled into the direction of his voice, her face a mixture of shock and surprise, she had to discover that he was standing only a few steps away from her, ready to grab her.

But before he could do another move, his torso was slammed down onto the table that stood next to Elena and his cheek hit the glass of the table hard, causing a few cracks in the glass. "Don't fucking touch her." Damon immediately hissed as he bend the arm of the Mexican behind his head, causing him to yelp in pure pain.

Damon was being rough, rough enough to make even Elena gasp and squirm. She had heard about him doing this, fighting against disgusting dogs from the street, but she had never seen him in action.

"Understood?" Damon asked, his thick, dark eyebrows furrowed tightly on hos forehead, while the Mexican whimpered beneath him. He quickly added some pressure to the guy's arm and he let out a tortured 'Yes!', so that Damon let him go and he and his bunch of dirty street rats vanished.

"You alright?" He turned to her, his dark hair even more messy now. And Elena swallowed softly and nodded. "Yeah, much better." She whispered back, having lost her voice. "Thank you."

* * *

"You don't look so fine." Damon murmured into Elena's ear about half an hour later, when they were drinking cocktails with Larma.

"I need a fix, Damon." Elena whined back, her eyelid heavy, her hands cold and warm at the same time and her muscles aching for the wonderful powder that would bring them their strength back. She was a wreck once again. "Please."

Damon's eyes were filled with concern, and she wondered if it was about the fact that she needed a fix again, or about the fact that she looked this bad and that he might not be able to get her any drugs right now. She really couldn't see it.

"Elena." His tone was worried and warning at once, which had always seemed to be impossible, but Damon just managed to pour the same amount of those two feelings into one word; her name.

But not even his good talking would help now, there was only one way to soothe her soul now.

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**A/N: So what do you think? I know a little cut off, but well... **

**I hope you enjoyed it and please keep the reviews up. **


	5. Sick

**A/N: Alright, the last chapter was a bit short, so here I am already again. Haha, uhm, I'm starting exactly where we left off and this time we'll see some more of how Damon and Elena's relationship is going. I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review to share your thoughts with me.**

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_There was only one way to soothe her soul now. _And it was not legal, nor accepted in most societies and if Elena's parents knew, they'd wash their hands off of her, try to scrub her off with too much soak until nothing was left. They would lock her up and never let her out again, and yes, they could do that. Her father had the right connections to therapists and doctors.

But this wasn't about her parents, and they were way too busy to find out anyway. So everything was fine, except for that itchy feeling that was rubbing itself through Elena's veins, that feeling that tried to make itself home forever. And no matter how hard she tried to fight it, most of the time, she simply had to give in at some point.

And she was once again, very close to that point of giving in, the point of no return. Where she just longed to jab that needle into her arm and make that itching and the feeling of sandpaper dry veins go away.

But this time, Damon sat next to her. And his eyes gleamed with the determination to catch her and not let her have this one rush that would make it all feel better.

It was kind of cruel, Elena thought to herself as she sat next to him, her eyes heavy and tired and her lips dry and brittle. "Damon." She gasped, barely audible. "I _need_ it."

It was probably a stupid idea to use the word 'need', but in that very moment, Elena had not ben able to find another word that would match this feeling. And even though it made her sound needy and addicted, which she was, who were they kidding, she used it and hoped it would ease Damon's stubbornness, so she could get her fix.

But no way.

"You called me for distraction." Was all that Damon said, but his voice sounded dry, as if he'd been yelling and smoking a lot. She knew it was just him suppressing his feeling, though. But she couldn't concentrate on it, her mind was too wild.

Her eyes darted around. He had taken her into a club full of junkies; for distraction? Not his wisest decision.

There was still the evidence of freshly sniffed cocaine on the table, people were smoking and the smell of drugs and illegal substances polluted the air of the small, cloudy club. It was worse than physical torture and Elena could have cried out loud any minute, when Damon suddenly grabbed her and dragged her by her upper arm, making their way through all of the people towards a door that he kicked senselessly open to get through.

And now they were standing on the fire escape of the building, up in the air, hovering above the hard ground. The only thing that held them up were the old iron stairs, and Elena hadn't noticed it so far, but acid was shoving up her body, pushing its way into her throat when she suddenly threw herself over the ailing of the old iron stairs and puke splashed out of her mouth, right down onto the ground.

Damon stood next to her, as if nothing had happened and pulled a box of cigarets out to light himself one of them.

While Elena stayed in her position, afraid that there might be more of her breakfast that wants to say hello again. She remained bend over the railing, her hand grasping the cold, rusty iron so tightly that her knuckles flashed white as she coughed and whimpered. The acid was burning her fucking throat.

But she finally managed to gasp something. "How did you know?" She choked softly, wiping her lips on the sleeve of her jacket.

Totally unimpressed, Damon shrugged his shoulders, rolling them slowly as he turned back to her, his cig hanging in the corner of his mouth as his hand grasped Elena's chin and turned her towards him, his eyes immediately scanning hers closely. "How do you feel?" He asked her, his grip tight on her fragile, thin jaw.

It almost hurt.

"Like shit." Elena snapped quietly, her tone harsh, though.

And it caused a chuckle to spill from Damon's lips. "Great." He told her, with a smirk on his lips as his index and middle finger slid around the cigaret again to take it from his lips and let the smoke blow freely through his nostrils. His free hand carefully tugged a few free strands of hair behind her ear while he glanced at her, his eyes slightly narrowed in thought. He looked more serious like this, almost worried. "Promise me that this was just a rough week for you.." He asked her.

And Elena tilted her head slightly, her wide brown bambi eyes staring back at the raven haired man, she really wondered what was going on in his head. And those light azure hues had her hypnotized the minute she had caught a glimpse of them.

She couldn't help it, though. And simply rolled her shoulders carelessly in response to his question. She couldn't answer. She really didn't know the fucking answer to his question. Had it always been this worse or was she just stumbling through a rough time?

"Thought so." Damon groaned silently, the corners of his mouth sinking in annoyance. Elena fell quiet at the look on his face, he looked disappointed and angry and like he was tired of what she was doing.

She opened her mouth to apologize, but Damon slit into her words and said, "Let's go." His hand tugged the cigaret from his lips before he turned around to make his way back inside, flicking the rest of the cigaret through the iron floor of the stairs to let it drop onto the floor beneath.

Elena didn't really understand what he meant by those two words, but once they were in his car and on their way towards her home, she knew.

"Why are you stopping?" Elena asked when his car came to a halt in front of her building.

"You need a shower and your bed." He explained, his head turning to look at her, his azure hues piercing her eyes almost painfully with the concern that his glance was radiating.

"Will you stay?" She asked and after a moment of hesitation, Damon nodded reassuringly.

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Once Elena was out of the shower, she wrapped her hair and body up in two white, fluffy towels and made her way over to the sink to look at herself in the mirror. She looked like hell, her eyes were tired, dark circles marked her eyes and her eyeballs were glassy and teary. Her lips were dry and brittle and not even those care-lipsticks would fix them now. Her cheekbones were slightly jutting out and she thought she looked like one of those too skinny runway stick-bitches.

Heroin addict. She let the word flow through her head. She had known it for a while now, but accepting it made the whole addiction worse and so serious that it frightened her to death. She could ruin her whole life with this. No matter how much money her parents had. She needed to get rid of this awful habit. No, it was more than a habit, it was a freaking addiction.

She pulled the knot of her towel tighter around her chest before giving herself one last glance and exiting the bathroom to walk back into her room, where Damon was already seated on her couch, playing with a dollar bill in his hand.

His eyes rose to look at her, neither of them minded that she was naked. She had shown herself naked to too many guys anyway, and Damon was a gentleman when it came to this, he wouldn't take advantage of her like this.

"How was the shower?" He asked her softly, laying the money back onto the glass table, which stood right in front of Elena's white leather couch.

Her room was giant, too big for herself. She could have probably lived here in her 'room' with her whole family. She had her own bathroom, her bedroom, her living room and her own kitchen.

"Refreshing." Elena muttered that single word out like it hurt to speak.

"Did it help with the cravings?" Damon wanted to know, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he leaned back, resting his arm over the backrest of the couch while he glanced at her.

It was awkward how she was standing there, wearing nothing more than a towel, so she slipped over towards the little stool that stood on the other side of the table. "No." She murmured again, her throat still raw and hurt from puking earlier. Her eyes fell into her lap shamefully, because she already regretted her next words. "Do you have a little?"

"I do." Damon groaned.

And Elena's eyes shot up hopefully.

"Please!" She moaned, her whole body leaning forward to get closer towards him now that she knew that he was actually carrying her favorite substance. "Damon."

Her dark brown eyes were ripped wide open and staring at him like he was Santa Clause and she was a little girl who hopped for a puppy this year.

There was no mistaking, she literally needed the stuff now. And for a split second, Damon thought about when she had become this addicted to the drugs, when had she started to really crave and need it more than anything? When had she started to loose control without it?

But he couldn't think of a single moment in which she had seemed like a total junkie to him, unlike now, where she was practically begging him to give that little plastic bag to her.

"One injection. And another tomorrow." He told her, father-like. As if he was putting up new rules in the house.

And she just nodded her head eagerly, desperate to get her hands on the stuff.

Damon stood up, slipped his hand into his jeans pocket and a moment later, Elena was busy cooking the stuff up on a spoon, holding his lighter right under the silver spoon to warm the liquids up. It was a good thing that she always had everything here that she needed to get the injection ready.

And once it was all filled up, she pushed the needle into the sensitive skin inside of her elbow, her vein was throbbing, ready to accept the drugs that would fuel her body for tonight and make her calm.

Damon couldn't even watch her, perching on the floor, leaning against the table and jabbing the thing into her vein. He was out, smoking a cigarette.

She pushed the tip of the needle into her skin and slowly pushed down, letting the cloudy liquid hit her blood stream.

And a moment later, she wasn't as upset anymore, everything was calmer, clearer and she didn't feel tired or weak, at least not in the sickening sense. She felt relaxed, the warmth and coldness disappeared and she pushed herself off the floor, steadying herself on the little table to make her way over to her closet and finally pull something on. A simple tank top and a pair of cheekies to cover her ass.

"Damon?" She called out and he pushed the glass door open and leaned against the door frame to look at her. "What?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed.

But Elena didn't care about his angry undertone, she made her way over to him, stole his cigarette and took the last drag before she flicked it away. "Time for bed." She murmured, as her hand slid into his, their fingers interlacing as he kept frowning at her.

"And thank you for the drugs." She told him, with a peck of her lips on his cheeks.

After that, she guided him over to her bed and tugged him into it by her side.

"I can take the couch." He offered, his voice had lost all the anger and sounded careful now.

"No, I want you here, tonight." She explained, her hand finding his again, so she could pull his arm over her side and was spooned in against him.

Her heart was still pounding in her chest, from the freshly injected heroin, but her mind was quiet and that made it easy for her to fall asleep quickly. The only thing in her ears was Damon's breathing and the soft snoring noise he emitted when he had fallen asleep just shorty before her.

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**A/N: I know it's short again, but I'm just not good at writing longer chapters, I hope it will come one day, though. So what you do you guys think? You know, reviews are love and keep me going. Heh. **


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